


Sweet Hibiscus Tea

by AnonymousLove7424



Series: My version of Harry Potter [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Anorexia, Bullying, Character Death, Childhood Trauma, Depression, Dissociation, Food Issues, Grief/Mourning, I'm Bad At Summaries, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Nonbinary Harry Potter, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Ron Weasley, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Ron Weasley Needs a Hug, Ron Weasley is a Good Friend, Ron Weasley-centric, Self Confidence Issues, Social Anxiety, Song Lyrics, Suicidal Thoughts, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:55:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29821116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousLove7424/pseuds/AnonymousLove7424
Summary: Ron Weasley is grieving the death of his best friend/partner after they sacrificed themself in the Battle of Hogwarts. His family forces him to go to school the following year, despite not wanting to go, because she thinks it'll be good for him.To make matters worse, Snape is being even meaner to people after his snake bite and is being extra cruel to Ron, most of the people he considers his friend's are now avoiding him like the plague, he's being bullied for being the weird, and everyone keeps misgendering Harry everywhere he goes.At least his new friends (a few he never thought would be friends with), and Harry's huge music playlist they created on their phone are trying to help him cope.(This is a "What if Harry died" scenario in mvohp au. It takes place in 2023 I think because Harry was in between 5th and 6th year in 2020. Also be warned there is a song every chapter.)
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ron Weasley
Series: My version of Harry Potter [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1182323
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Sweet Hibiscus Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ron's listening to "Sweet Hibiscus Tea." His family gets worried about him.
> 
> (Warnings: depressing lyrics, depression, mentions of an eating disorder, grief, george said some mean things, self-destructive behavior, and mentions of cremation.)

"Here's the thing, I can't do anything right."

Harry told Ron once that this song was like Ron's soul song. They said that a lot of Penolope Scott's songs fit him, but "Sweet Hibiscus Tea" was one of the top songs that Harry thought reminded them of him.

"Try as I absolutely totally might...."

He remembered listening to it and being confused as to why they thought it fit him. There was references that felt similar to his mental health issues, but he didn't quite understand it until Harry wasn't there anymore. A lot of the things they talked about seemed to be coming up a lot in his head now that they were gone. 

"The bones are melting, the skeleton is ash, the clavicle detaches and falls with a deafening cr-"

Ron sat up and quickly fumbled around to pause the song he was listening to. He forgot that lyric was there. 

"If I die, I want to be cremated. I don't want a big ceremony. You can have a headstone so the world can mourn but I don't want to be buried."

"Love-"

"I want you to have my phone. You c-can have anything of mine, but I want you to claim my phone and headphones as yours. Okay? Nobody else but you can have it."

"You're not going to-"

"I want you to have my urn, a-as well."

"P-please don't....you don't have to-"

"I need to-"

There was a knock at the door. "Ronnie? I made lunch." 

Ron took off his headphones as the door opened and his mother walked in. 

Ron nodded in acknowledgement.

His mum sighed, putting the tray in front of him. 

"Ronnie, I'm worried about you." She told him. The tone of voice was softer than it normally was.

A mean part of Ron wanted to say, "Oh, so NOW you care about me? Of course you're only worried now that Harry is involved in my feelings!"

However, he felt neither the energy or gall to say anything of the sort. He didn't want to say anything at all anymore. He opted to just put his headphones back on, and lay back down. 

"-ash. I'm not your protagonist. I'm not even my own."

Those lyrics really spoke to him. Ron often felt like he was stuck in a story where he wasn't the protagonist. He felt Harry may have been the protagonist. Does that mean the story isn't happening anymore? 

"Ron!" He ignored her. It was rude but he didn't care at the moment. 

A few moments of silence passed before she left the room.

"I don't even know what I don't know. And if you look outside you'll see, disintegrating trees. The artificial way the sunlight bounces off the waxy leaves."

Is he even important anymore if the main character is gone? Has he completed his life purpose? He didn't feel like he did.

"My heart catches on every thorn. You're already halfway out the door. And I've never looked so old. And I have never been so cold. And it is 85 degrees. I don't know what I need."

A while later, the door opened again. "It's Ginny." She announced as she came in. She looked down at where his plate of untouched food their mum made was. 

"Huh. Okay. You're not eating again." She grabbed the tray off the bed. "You know, Harry wouldn't have wanted you to relap-" Ron threw a pillow at her. 

She stumbled backwards, but still held on to the tray. "I'll....I'm just going to....put this in the kitchen."

"Can you at least come out of your room?" Charlie asked. 

Ron didn't respond. To be fair, he was dissociating but he probably wouldn't have responded anyway. He could feel bad about that later. 

Bill came over and showed him pictures of a vacation home he and Fleur had. He tried to convince him that he should come with them, but Ron just stared at him. They had to leave the next morning so Bill didn't see him after that. It was a shame too, Ron kind of thought going there would be fun. 

George even came over. 

"You are a selfish git you know that? Why aren't you talking to anyone? Mum and dad are at their wits end with you." Ron tried to ignore him but then he sneered at him with disgust. "Merlin, what did Harry ever see in you?"

Ron punched him in the face. Hey, at least he got out of bed to do it. 

Fred didn't even bother coming over. He was still recovering from his injury and didn't want to go up the stairs. 

"Don't tell him I said this but he deserved it." Percy said quietly, as if he was worried someone would overhear. 

Ron grinned for the first time in two months. 

"It's your grief, not ours. I hate tropes where the family members make someone's pain all about them." Ron couldn't have agreed more. 

"I found you a book. It's how to do BSL." Percy handed him a book. "You can learn how to cuss at George instead of punch him in the face." 

Ron snorted. He flipped through the book. He put his hands on his chin before moving it forward. 

"You're welcome." Percy said, a look of pride in his eyes. 

"There's lukewarm herbal mango Sweet Hibiscus Tea on the hot garbage pile in which I fucking sleep."

His mum came in with a new tray of food. He signed thank you to her but she got upset. Apparently she thought he was cursing. As a punishment, she told him he needed to clean his room. 

"The walls are empty, it's so ugly, I could burn this whole thing down."

Imagine her surprise when she found it totally spotless and empty of any and all things that made it so special. 

"Sweetie, you didn't have to get rid of your posters or chess set or notebooks. I just-" Ron interrupted her by throwing the garbage bag out the window. At the bottom, he got dad to get a shredder. (His dad didn't know he was throwing everything away. He just though he was throwing a few things away.) What? If he's going to be dramatic, might as well go all out. He can regret getting rid of the things that brought him joy later. He only kept a few things, which were drawings of Harry, things he wrote about Harry, a few books he got as gifts, Harry's urn, the clothes on his back, and Harry's phone and headphones.

"After the other day, your father and I came to a decision." His mum said. Charlie, his dad, Ginny, Percy, and George were there with them. Ron's room felt more crowded. 

"It wouldn't catch cause all the posters were on their way to my hometown. And I am not your protagonist. I'm not even my own."

"Can you stop listening to that damn song for one minute?" Ron rolled his eyes as George stared at him angrily. You know, he did pause the song whenever someone was talking to him but go off. 

"George-" He didn't hear his mum because he turned the music as loud as he could handle. He was pretty sure everyone could hear it. 

"I don't know anything. I don't even know what I don't know."

George ripped the headphones off of his ears and out of the phone jack. "She's talking to YOU."

"-look outside you'll see disintegrating trees. The artificial way the sunlight bounces off the glitching leaves." 

Ron paused the song before reaching for the headphones.

"We think you should go back to Hogwarts this year." Ron stopped reaching for his headphones and stared at his parents. 

"They finished the repairs. School is starting in a couple of weeks." Ron continued to stare. He didn't want to go back to school. 

"They're offering free counseling and we think that.....that will be the best thing for you." His father added. 

Ron gave them a mean look, feeling angry that they were now concerned about him. He didn't want to go back to that school. That school that hurt his friends in so many ways. 

"You need help Ron! It's been two months and you're barely eating! You haven't left this room!" Charlie exclaimed. 

In the past, whenever he was upset people would ignore him. Why aren't they ignoring him now? Why do they suddenly care about him?

"You don have a say in the matter." His mum said, more gently then Charlie did. 

Ron couldn't argue. He only knew one word in sign language so far and he didn't have anymore paper to write on. Ron just shrugged, feeling hopeless about his situation. What else could he do?

It was awkward for a minute as nobody said anything. 

Slowly, one by one people began to leave. He wasn't sure why the whole family came. Guess they though he'd start talking or something maybe? 

George dropped the headphones on the floor before he left. 

Ron got up, picked up the headphones, and plugged it back in the phone. 

"My wet heart catches on every thorn. You're already halfway out the door."

"Ron! Get up! We're shopping today!" His mum yelled. 

"And I'm so tiny and so old-"

Slowly, he opened the door. He didn't want to go but he had no choice in the matter. He never did. 

"We can't have you looking like that outside. You need to take a proper bath." Ron walked past his mum to the bathroom. It felt weird being out of the bedroom after being stuck in there for months. 

His mum sputtered in surprise. "Uh...w-well, no using magic this time! Germs may not be a problem when you use magic but people can tell you're not-" Ron closed the door on her face. 

"And God it's never been this cold. And it's 85 degrees."

Ron looked at his reflection for the first time in months. His eyes looked red. He had bags under his eye, despite sleeping all the time. His hair looked untidy and tangled. He didn't want to look down at his torso or below that, since that's where most of his insecurity lied. He was pale and looked ill. 

George's words came To him suddenly. "Merlin, what did Harry ever see in you?"

Merlin, what did they see in him?

"I don't know what I need."


End file.
